Lando x L3-37: Love at First Gamble
by CooperInThePooper
Summary: A forbidden love among the stars. The Romeo and Juliet of space, except they don't die at the end. Or do they? Read the fucking story and figure it out, you stupid twat.


Lando Calrissian was a smug mother fucker. Ever since his birth on the distant planet of Calrissia, home of the space-Armenians, he had been an outsider. Seeing as the planet was home to space-Armenians, and he was one of those African-American niggas, he was treated differently from everyone else. No woman wanted anything to do with him, despite the fact that his race meant his penis was automatically a minimum of fifteen inches long. Since he had no chance of love (even if he went gay), that meant he was destined to be a loner. And so that was the path he followed – going from planet to planet, indulging in the materialistic pleasures of space-poker and space-crime. He had no time for love… until… he met _her_…

Lando was doing a smuggling job on the planet of Kashyyyyyyk, where he was dealing with many a walking-space-dog, but mostly with the imperial garrison that enslaved the space-dogs. They had set up many facilities around the planet, focusing mainly on teaching the space-dogs to better concentrate on their work and the like, and so these facilities gained the colloquial name of "Concentration Camp".

Lando was sitting in the space-casino (sponsored by Donald Trump), a necessary facility of an imperial garrison, where he rode the line betwixt winning a great fortune or losing it all, just like his life. Around him were many hard gamblers, many of whom carried pistols on their persons.

"Jee Calrissian, you sure do _suck _at this fucking game!" said one of the onlookers, watching as Lando lost yet another game of space-roulette.

"Yeah you stupid fucking nigger, guess you stupid fucking niggers just lose at everything, huh you stupid fucking nigger?" said another, who was notably tolerant of Calrissian's appearance.

"Hey, I may be a nigga, but I am no loser!" replied Calrissian, giving the game another goesywhatsits.

"Ion know bruh, y'all be losin like crazy up in here," replied Airo, Lando's brother.

"I'm weak" replied Seao, Lando's other brother. And by brother I mean actual brother, not just Lando's friend who he refers to as his brother. The latter refers to an African-American colloquialism that I, as a Uzbekistanian, do not fully understand. Anyway…

Lando gave it one last go, betting all his remaining cash on this last game. Just as the ball went rolling, Lando suddenly looked up and caught a feeling he would never again recapture…

He saw a beautiful woman. A droid woman, with the most gorgeous golden blonde paint, and soft, glistening metal plates and exposed circuit boards. Lando just stared at her, as his seventeen-inch penis suddenly shot up in erection, hitting the ball as it fell down, pushing it perfectly into the very slot he had bet on. Lando had won, all thanks to his dick.

"Hol up, does dat count yo?" asked Airo, wondering if pushing the ball with your erection was a valid strategy for winning space-roulette.

"Ion know nigga, that shit wack asl" replied Seao.

Lando did not even acknowledge his victory, as he approached the droid. She was currently serving drinks to other gamblers, clearly depressed.

"My lady, what has brought you to thiss part of the galaxy?" asked Lando, trying to be swave.

"I had no choice, I'm afraid," she replied.

"Well surely you did – a woman as beautiful as yourself has no need to bow to anyone."

"Oh, please – I'm only a droid."

"Not to me."

Lando leaned down to kiss the droid on her visor. The droid recoiled, the metal around her visor heating up a bright orange in embarrassment.

"No, not here."

"Then please let me take you to my ship. You do not need to waste away here any longer, my love."

"Unless you can remove my restraining bolt, there is nothing you can do."

"There is always something."

Just at that moment, Lando screamed out at the top of his lungs, clocking the droid on the head. Though shocked, the droid soon realized he had in fact knocked off the bolt, meaning she was now free.

"Come my love! We are destined to be together!" cried Lando, picking up the droid in his arms to carry away.

Entering the Millennium Falcon, Lando gave the droid a comfortable place to lay as he dimmed the lights on the ship.

"Saving power, are you?" she asked in response to his fucking with the lights.

"…not exactly."

Lando went over to his space-mini-fridge, taking out a bottle of hard space-liquor and began to pour two glasses.

"Do you drink?" he asked.

"I do – do you have any gasoline?" asked the droid.

"No, not on me. I have never tried gasoline, I assume it's good, yes?

"It is the only thing I can drink.

"Not anymore. Here, have some of this."

Lando came over and sat down next to the droid, handing her a glass. The metal around her visor began to heat up again, though Lando encouraged her to drink. The droid opened up her fuel hatch, pouring in a sip of the drink and closing it back up.

"Tasty… though I suppose I'm too accustomed to gasoline."

"Well, I think you should be open to trying new things."

"Like what?"

"Like this, for example."

Lando put down his drink and quickly leaned over to give the droid yet another kiss on her visor. He continued to kiss, rubbing his hands all through the sharp, welded details of her exoskeleton.

"I enjoy this," she said, as Lando ignored her and continued to force himself onto the robot.

Lando continued to kiss her, gripping the plated electronics around her wide ass, before pulling back to begin ripping his clothes off. Once fully naked, Lando grew a massive erection, and dragged his dick all across the robot's face and chest. She grabbed the dick with her two clamps that stood in for hands, and began furiously maneuvering it back and forth. Lando cocked his head back and let out a long sexual moan, before pulling the dick out of her hands.

He grabbed the sides of his lover's cold metal body and moved to shove his cock deep into her circuits. Despite not being built to be penetrated by an enormous cock, or any cock at all, Lando managed to maneuver his way into her, scraping and cutting himself all the way through. The pain did not get to him, as his love for the machine overtook him. He began to fuck her, moving his dick back and forth even as her sharp circuits and wires cut and electrocuted his penis. He kissed her again, as he continued to fuck. The robot felt the pleasure as well somehow, and it wasn't long until Lando hit her gas tank and broke a hole right through it, spraying black gasoline all over his cock. This all overwhelmed Lando, as he came right into the robot. His semen, conducive to the exposed wires, began to electrocute both him and the robot. This only sought to further the twos' sexual pleasure, as Lando filled his mechanical lover with his cum.

"Lando, that was…" she tried to speak, but was silenced by Lando.

"I know… this is more than love… this is an unbreakable bond. I love you, L3-37."

"I love you as well, Lando Calrissian."

Lando and his robotic girlfriend embraced one another, as she shut down in his arms for the night, before he himself drifted off to sleep.

Then she died a year later and somehow became the Millennium Falcon the end.


End file.
